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FAIRmongers!!! The Foodmongers OK State Fair Special!

September 23, 2010

What is the biggest fall junk food event in Oklahoma City?  Who are the best food critics in Oklahoma City?

This week the FoodMongers are doing our tribute to the Great State Fair of Oklahoma with our FAIRmongers special.  We went and scoped out as many booths as we could, without puking, to let you know what is awesome and what is a waste of your money.  There are so many choices at the fair that it makes it nearly impossible for a fair novice to wade through the junk to find deliciousness.  Below is a guide to happy tastebuds.  You’re welcome.

I intentionally starved myself pre-fair night so I could cram in as much as possible, so when we arrived, I was craving something substantial to start off.  We came in the north side of the fair, and walked around the big circle around the tower.  I immediately smelled and spotted the roasted corn booth.  Bingo.  I got a corn and a bottle of water for $6.  Bargain!… not.  Tasty, yes.  It was sweet and smoky and dipped in butter.  You can’t go wrong here.

My wife promptly got a corndog, which for her, is a fair go-to.  I passed on that.  I think corndogs are what I would eat if I was trapped in a Sam’s and the meat section and all the frozen pizzas were already gone.  We continued down the

Prounounced "teddy-yaki cheek-in"

food row to the south and I spotted the tall chinese food trailer that has teryaki chicken on a stick.  As we came closer, I could see the large scewers of chicken laying on a grill right inside the window of the trailer.  It smelled incredible.  I got 1, but wanted 2.  Pace yourself….  The cook took it off the grill and basted it with a teriyaki glaze before putting it on my plate.  $5.  Not bad for fair prices.  There’s a solid half pound of meat here.  It was hot, fresh, tender, and very juicy!  I patted myself on the back and we moved down the row.

We stopped next just a few trailers down at one that advertised fried bacon-cheddar mashed potatoes.  I’m typically not a huge fan of battered and deep fried, but anything with bacon and cheese has my attention.  Again $5, but I don’t think we got as much food with this Abe Lincoln.  We got 4 golfball-ish sized pieces of potato and a side of ranch for dipping.  Go to the pictures page for a snapshot.  I thought the flavor was very good, cheesy, bacony, and the potatoes had a fairly heavy garlic flavor.  All that dipped in ranch is pretty solid in my book.  It was very greasy and heavy though, so don’t go crazy on this one, it could end your night of gluttony early.  My wife had 1 and was done.  She was not that impressed.

After this we met up with the other half of our FoodMongers party, and my compadre Hunter was gnawing on something that looked delicious.  I’ll let him tell you about his finds when he adds to this entry.  We moved west toward the arena where some friends had spotted the talk of the fair this year – the chocolate covered bacon booth.  We step up and order, one order of bacon, and a bottle of water.  $8!  ouch.  This better be a lot of bacon.  It comes out in a small chinese takeout box.  The LITTLE ones.  It also came out of a refrigerator.  Uh oh, this is not looking good.  I bit off a piece of one and chewed it.  Did I get any bacon in mine?  I can’t taste it.  I can feel the grit in my mouth of a crunchy strip of bacon, but no hint of bacon flavor.  Bummer.  I would say this was my biggest fair disappointment.  I gave it a thumbs down.  The chocolate had good flavor, but don’t get me drooling with the word bacon and then give me some decent chocolate with a little crunch.

We walked around for a little while longer, went through the car show, did some people watching, and my belly was about done.  So we decided to hit up the booth that is always THE highlight of fair gluttony for us.  The cinnamon roll both.  Now there are lots of cinnamon roll booths here, but don’t be fooled by imposters.

Yes, it’s worth the wait

To make sure that you don’t succumb to the falseness of the OTHER cinnamon roll stands, I made sure to take a picture of THE cinnamon roll stand.  It is a big green beacon of hope and always has a massive line in front.  Don’t be scared, get in line.  You may very well wait 30 minutes for a cinnamon roll.  You may get frustrated in line and want to get on your phone and send us hate mail during this time.  Just wait it out and once you lap a lip over what you purchase there you will understand.  It is like the Krispy Kreme of cinnamon rolls.  They have an assembly line in there cooking them up fresh.  You will get a hot, fresh, artery clogging treat every time here.  This is not a time to pinch pennies either.  I suggest double icing and a large milk.  Don’t worry about the cost.  It’s close to $10 for this type of order, but I guarantee almost every $10 meal you’ve had doesn’t hold a candle to what you’re about to experience.  If you’re the type of guy that doesn’t like to cry in public, I suggest you take your first bite alone.  I’m just sayin’…  You need to go to our pictures page to see the redneck masterpiece that is THE fair cinnamon roll.  I almost can’t put into words what it will do to your tastebuds.  Just get one.

I am going to end this segment now, and we are most likely returning before the fair’s end to be your fair test dummies, and you will hear from us again.  Hunter will follow this up soon with his experience also.

Donut Burger! Ooooh yessir!

Hunter here. Sorry it took me forever to add to this, I’ve been busy! Let me start off by saying the OK State Fair did not disappoint. There were mullets and jorts galore, and of course, delicious treats like the Donut Burger! It’s basically a burger patty, bacon and cheese with a glazed donut sliced in half and used as the bun. It might sound weird at first but trust me, it’s pretty awesome. It’s just like having a regular burger with a sweet bun. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with a little suga on yo burga!

Now it didn’t look exactly like the sign, and I didn’t get a great picture of it…I was trying not to get icing all over my phone, but the pic is on the pictures page.
I had a couple of bites of some fried mac & cheese, which was pretty outstanding, and pretty much exactly like it sounds. Mac & cheese inside of little triangle breaded, fried nuggets. Can’t go wrong there.
I also had a little bit of the standard foot-long corn dog. Nothing special here. A corn dog is a corn dog is a corn dog…regardless of length. Basically the only advantage here is that you don’t have to feel like a fatty and say you ate two.
I had taste tests of various other fair treats, but I believe Adam covered most of them, and I am essentially in agreement with his judgment. I’ll end by saying this…When you go to the fair, be prepared to leave all health-conscious, organic-loving debbie downers behind. You need the full experience. This is the world of Deep-fried, chocolate-covered, butter-dipped, cheese-stuffed, extra everything awesomeness. Respect the redneck cuisine and enjoy yourself. OKFM said so.
Oh, and don’t stay too long, because by the time you feel a little rumble in the jungle…you’d be best to avoid the state fair port-o-potties at all costs. I’m just sayin’.
One Comment leave one →
  1. Lauren Meek permalink
    September 24, 2010 9:42 am

    BABE- it looks fabulous i want you to take me there please!! LETS all go next week sometime!

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